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Are you a weirdo? How about a music nerd? Maybe a movie geek. How about a comic book fan? And do you know way too much about the entire family of everyone on Star Trek or The Witcher? Thought so. That’s cool. That’s why we started this thing. I got tired of eating lunch by […]

I swear. Just that one time. That’s it. That’s all I did. Now I get fed 472 of these things every day! Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you! Reels on Instagram. We do “the Reels”. The kids love ’em. So, now I gotta make the reels. That means I gotta study […]

Okay, just kidding. I know why you hate mimes. I just wanted my email to look interesting in your inbox. I see the usual 20% off stuff in there, and that invite to your class reunion I can’t even believe you’re thinking about going to, but mimes are French and they’re creepy, they dress like […]

I get it. Other than the unbridled joy you feel going to your inbox every Wednesday, and the lavish gifts that again, are found in your inbox on many Wednesdays, and the knowledge that if you’ve had an exhausting day on the world wide web, or if someone doesn’t appreciate your cat video on Insta […]

We made fun of Stuart the first day he went to work at the bank. Stuart’s my brother. He’s not really my brother, but he’s my brother because he and his brother Scott and I were inseparable growing up, and, it’s a long story… but just go with me when I say Stuart’s my brother. […]

I’m lucky people don’t know anything about music. I don’t know anything about music, but I know what I like. And I like the artsy, cinematic stuff I write. What? It’s my newsletter. Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you! Anyway, I’m really lucky that nobody knows anything about music, and the […]

Is peanut butter a liquid? Before you answer that, go get your jar outta the cupboard and have a look. My Canadian sister-in-law loves Trader Joe’s Crunchy Peanut Butter. Who doesn’t? And in addition to it being way too freaking cold, you apparently can’t get it in Canada. So, being the wonderful brother-in-law that I […]

Tchaikovsky, Danny Elfman, Frank Zappa and Wile E. Coyote walk into a bar. You have to admit that’s a pretty great opening line. You’re thinking, “Great, Kevin’s gonna tell us a joke, and it’s probably got something to do with an Acme anvil falling on somebody’s head and maybe Zappa says something like “What’s the […]

Did your Mom ever tell you to wear clean underwear in case you got into an accident? Mine did. Which for those of you who know me, this probably explains a lot. So, when you stop judging, I can tell you that as far as I can figure out, the reason for this fixation on […]

I go walking everyday. Well, almost everyday. I go everyday except those days when it’s incredibly freaking butt-numbing cold outside. But, thanks to global warming, we haven’t had many of those this year, so I go everyday. That didn’t really come out right, and the checkout guy at Trader Joe’s and I agreed that we […]

Look, when I screw up, I admit it. At least most of the time, but I’m still not taking the blame for that thing we agreed we would never talk about. It was like that when I got there. Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you. The big bold headline on the […]

Never wonder again. Don’t like to read? No worries. Victoria reads our email to you! People always ask me, “Kevin, are Wonderland and Neverland the same place?” To which I ask, “Who the hell are you and how did you get in my apartment?” And after that I say, “Look, whoever you are, don’t be […]

Don’t like to read? No worries, Victoria reads out emails to you.https://youtu.be/nay4667uInc Remember the magical kingdom I told you about last week? The place where you could simply check a box and all your dreams would come true? Okay, it’s a magical survey, but we’re building new entertainment stuff, and we want to build the […]

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads our emails to you. What if there was a magical place where you could simply check a box and all your dreams would come true? A kingdom where a tiny click of your finger would give you exactly what you wanted, when you wanted and how you wanted it. […]

Missed Valentine’s Day (again)? Nope.The toilet brush-plunger set is not gonna cut it.Wanna get outta the dog house? You need music.Boom-chicka-wow-wow music.Click the lick above to download it.Or play it on the page.It’s free.You’re welcome.Need more Boom-chicka-wow-wow?• SCARAMOUCHE SOUNDTRACK • MORE ABOUT SCARAMOUCHE

DANGLING BY A THREAD (featuring Victoria Levy) THE 411 So… there’s Peter Pan, the boy who won’t grow up (lucky kid). Well, like all kids he loses stuff. Only this kid loses his shadow. (How do you even do that?) Yep, The Pan loses his shadow in a sock drawer in the bedroom of these […]

It’s new year. Yep, that’s an excellent example of lazy writing, cuz honestly, who the hell doesn’t know it’s a new year? I mean, it’s hardy even new anymore, and it certainly doesn’t have any of that new year smell left. If it’s a surprise to you that it’s a new year… just keep reading […]

Remember a week or so ago when you were stuffing your face with carbs like there’s no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow. Time to face the music. Time to to pay the man. Time to pay the piper. What do I mean? Well, I’m gonna sit here, sip my margarita, and snack on my Krispy Kreme […]

My dear friend Emily writes a beautiful end-of-the-year letter every year. It sums up her journey of the past 12 months. Fun events. Accomplishments big and small, as well as some of the painful moments. It’s sweet, poignant and beautiful. You’re not gonna get that here today. I honestly can’t remember what I had for […]

Still stuffed from all your holiday leftovers. Still nursing that sore shoulder from when you lost the arm wrestling match with Uncle Billy for the last piece of pumpkin pie (he totally cheated)? Still sitting on the couch with your belt undone trying to write yet another witting, enlightening AND informative email to everyone who’s […]