10 pounds of sh!t in a 5 pound bag

My Dad used to say that. People from the south have a gift for colorful metaphors. Not as colorful as "Double dumbass on you" - and let me just pause here and say if you can tell me what this is from you'll win something free. I don't know what, but it'll be free and you can brag about it.

Anyway, I woke up this morning thinking of clever ways to get into this story, but after "Double dumbass on you," damn, where was I?

Oh yeah, colorful metaphors and how my Dad would have probably said something about the 10 pounds of sh!t in the small bag after observing school kids with their insanely huge backpacks filled to bursting with god knows what because I'm pretty sure we've banned all the books by now.

So, I figure it's either the aforementioned sh!t or they all have a giant Lego Robot stuffed in there! And then I started thinking about how how the hell I'm gonna get my own giant robot into all these damn UK theatres.

"Whoo" we made it. It wasn't pretty, but... we got here, and the show must go on (who said that anyway)?

So... SQUEEZING GIANT ROBOTS IN UK THEATRES.

You call. You write. You negotiate. You sign and it's all, "Yay, we got the gig!" Which quickly turns into "HOLY SH!T WE HAVE A GIG!"

Why? Because... you start looking a little closer at all those pictures and tech diagrams the theatres sent you, and you're like "OMFG, how the hell are we gonna make that work!?"

Yeah every theatre is different and they all have their own... personality. Which is a nice southern metaphor word for "WTF were they thinking when they built that thing?"

Some venues are tall and elegant like a cathedral. Others are kinda like a shoebox... with ambition. We love them all. We do. Each one is a delightful puzzle from hell: as in "how the hell is one supposed to fit a cinematic masterpiece, an awesome rock show, a theatrical "experience" (said with a French accent), and a small army of humans into a space that was definitely never designed for any of that?"

So, after a week or two of sleepless nights, enter the “why didn’t we do this sooner” solution: "I know, we'll front project on some fancy scrim." Duh, of course.

So unlike any good magician, I'm gonna tell you how the trick is done. From the audience’s perspective, they’re watching a crisp, beautiful iconic film masterpiece (that would be Metropolis). And... hidden behind said fancy scrim, lurking like magnificently talented ghosts, are the band and singers. And, when we bring up a little back and side lighting, they emerge, blending into the film like the film has decided to start singing.

Pretty cool, huh? And oh so simple to do...

Like "cooking a five-course banquet on a bunsen burner while standing on one foot" kinda simple. Are things a little tight? Yes. Could it blow up in your face. Maybe. Is it impossible? Nah.

And just when the audience thinks “yeah, I get it,” we break the illusion. Performers step out in front of the screen for one of our special Vox Lumiere "kick it up a notch" rockstar moments that gets all the little tiny hairs on the back of your neck to stand up.

Ooo, tingly.

Different rooms. Different straightjackets. Same goal: take a little "impossible" and make it look effortless.

That's it. I'm not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin