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We came. We saw. We FDUKed. Yep… and an amazing FDUK it was. I promise I’m eventually going to stop with the terrible double entendre, but how often do you get this kind of opportunity? Just know that I will keep looking for places to slip it in as we go along (that one just […]

Today’s little piece of email sunshine comes to you from Wales. More specifically “The Queen’s Vaults,” a charming little pub on a charming little street in “The Diff” which is how we insiders refer to “Cardiff.” Now, before your mind fills with images of Hemingway balancing his last glass of scotch on the edge of […]

No, that’s not a secret message for you to decipher with your Super Secret Decoder Ring. Although it could be ‘cuz we are getting those, because I figure if we’re gonna have a super secret club house and a super secret weekly email, we should have our own Super Secret Decoder Ring. Who doesn’t want […]

Don’t ‘cha just love September? It’s filled to the brim with all my favorite holidays. National Pepperoni Pizza Day, National Beer Lovers Day, National Pot Pie Day, National Coffee Day (mmm coffee) and my most favorite of all National Make Your Bed Day. Now, I do not make my bed (ask Victoria), but I like […]

Our house in Los Angeles was built in 1926 on what was once the edge of an orange grove, where you had to take two trolley cars just to get close enough to where you could walk the rest of the way. Today it’s the best cut-through street to the airport, and everyone and I […]

Look, uh… I’ll just come right out and say it. I’m a little embarrassed. I know I should have asked before now, but you know, we’re hanging out, having a jolly old time, and I’m eating all your potato chips and what I hope was guacamole that I found in the fridge. And after a […]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here at all. I’m not gonna get all mushy, and you can forget about the hugging, but it’s cool that you wanna strap in with us and take this crazy ride. But some things just aren’t for everybody. We stopped at a restaurant on our way back from […]

It’s Sunday evening, the sun is setting over a beautiful lake here in Quebec, Canada, and that first promise of cocktails is starting to dance in my head. Yep, it’s a little different than it was growing up. Growing up, Sunday night was always tomato soup and saltines covered with melted cheese (probably Velveeta). Hey, […]

Look. Most people think Flip Flops are called Flip Flops because of the sound they make when you walk.???? What a maroon. As usual, I’m going to give you the real, bar beat winning 411 AND help you save money! Flip Flops are called Flip Flops because they were invented by Flip & Flop Fuller, […]

Look. I didn’t say that (this time). Yes, I do have a mouth like a sailor. And yes, many sailors are a little embarrassed to hang with me. But… our Psychedelic Flip Flops and the 20% OFF we’re giving, does have everyone’s tongue wagging. Our AliƧin Psychedelic Flip Flops are flying off the shelves and… […]

Don’t be embarrassed. I saw you checking me out. Which is cool. Only you were checking out my feet. Which is weird, until I remembered I was wearing these. Our very super sexy and crazy trippy Psychedelic Flip-Flops. They are insanely cool and they’re about the only thing you can stand to wear on your […]

It’s Sunday and I’m looking out at a little Marina in Virginia. Deltaville to be exact. It’s 95 degrees out but feels like 103, and it’s only 9am. It’s hot. Officially, the technical term is Freaking Hot (there’s another technical term, but this is a family friendly newsletter). And… if you live just about anywhere, […]

I have no idea what that means. I’ve been lying in bed for the past two hours trying to go to sleep while “Rhapsody in Blue” bangs away in my head because Victoria was on hold for an hour waiting to talk to United about our lost luggage. Our luggage is now apparently in Newark, […]

Episode 2. Look, I promise not to do that annoying thing Star Wars did when they renumbered all the episodes, and Episode 1, suddenly became Episode 4 (or whatever), and then they changed the names, so you never really know what the hell you’re watching until you see the Death Star blow up, which I […]

We just got back from LA. A company building a bunch of new venues heard about us, and asked us to come out and make a big pitch. We prepared, we rehearsed, we had an awesome deck (that we threw up on the big screen from the iPad – very slick) and a mind-blowing video […]

Don’t look at me that way. My Dad was a golfer. He was pretty good too – Junior PGA or something. But, back in the day, being a pro golfer was kinda like touring with your band and living out of the van. I think it’s probably still like that until Titleist shows up and […]

That’s an actual x-ray of my teeth. If you know anything about dentistry, please keep it to yourself and do not tell the other’s how crappy my teeth are. I had to have a root canal done recently. Now, if you’re of a certain age, you may be surprised to know that one doesn’t just […]

I’m writing this at 36,004 feet. I looked it up for you on my little screen. So, this may sound loftier then my usual missives. Most likely it will sound exactly like when I write at sea level, but you can hope for the best. Getting high. So what am I gonna do with that? […]

Write what you know. That’s what all those people making a living giving other people advice say. “Write what you know.” That’s terrible advice and if your new online course with the latest advice guy tells you to do that, ask for your $29.95 a month back. Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email […]

“Well, basically there are two sorts of opera,” said Nanny, who also had the true witch’s ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. “There’s your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like “Oh oh oh, I am dyin’, oh I am dyin’, oh oh oh, that’s […]